i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
