her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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