Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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