I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
