; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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