You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I bet he comes in French.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
