I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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