he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
