remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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