I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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