Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
