I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im holly from the hills drunk
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
