so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
