3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
