I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
