Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
