listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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