I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
