And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ladies don't puke and tell
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
