it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
