If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
