Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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