could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
