He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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