He is an equal opportunity slut.
Michael Bay diarrhea
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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