omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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