your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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