Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Randomize
