Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
