i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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