I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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