Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
