lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
