I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
