I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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