i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
