the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
