Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
