Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Fuck appropriateness.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
