did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
