who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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