I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
