yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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