Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
