problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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