your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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