Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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