Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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