wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
