I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
